Music - A Tool For My Healing



Songwriting has always been a very cathartic practice for me. Music has helped to carry me through some of the darkest times surrounding my abuse. These songs were expressions of my pain and my hope. I recorded all 3 when I was 20 years old, along with several others written about my abuse.


I wrote this song, when I was about 16 years old.

https://www.reverbnation.com/nataliegreenfieldmusic/song/18392387-house-of-cards

"House of Cards"

She scribbles down a note
She slides it 'neath his door
It tells him of her heart and all the questions on her mind
All the questions on her mind

They say she is much too young
And you know he is much too old
She's gonna watch him walk away
He'll leave her cryin in the cold
Cryin in the cold

She's living in a house of cards
You touch it and it falls
A house of cards
You touch it and it falls
Well it just tumbles 'neath your fingers

She never saw the signs
She didn't understand the game
All she knew was that he told her 
They would one day share the same last name

It's true that she was much too young
And he was much too old
He scarred her soul with his selfish greed 
He left her cryin in the cold
He left her cryin in the cold

She's living in a house of cards
You touch it and it falls
A house of cards
You touch it and it falls
Well it just tumbles 'neath your fingers

Oh but she will break away
She will chase that morning sun
She will fly out of the darkness
She will break these chains of love
She will break these chains of love

She will blossom into beauty
She will stand up tall and proud
She can see past all the lies
Cuz she has taken down the shroud
She has taken down the shroud

She will chase that morning sun




I wrote this one when I was 15 years old, after being hurt by something my abuser said to me.

"Somewhere Beautiful"

Just the other day life was seeming pretty normal
I had my laughter, had my love, I had my life
How was I to know that things so quickly could go downhill
I lost my laughter, lost my love, I lost my life

Now I sit here on my bed and I watch the shadows falling
On the floor, where my heart is lying crushed
Now I talk to God and I cry about the pain
It seems like happiness is gone and gone to stay

Can you fly me somewhere beautiful?
Can I climb onto your wings?
Can you take me where the trees are green?
Won't you please take me to where the robin sweetly sings?

I see the grass outside my window
I see how much it goes through just to stay above the ground
I watch trees, so beautiful, yet I know how much they've overcome
To stand so tall and strong

And you see me
I wear this happy smile
To hide the tears behind it
But little do you know
Behind my mask
All my bones are breaking
All my bones are breaking
All my bones are breaking

Can you fly me somewhere beautiful?
Can I climb onto your wings?
Can you take me where the trees are green?
Won't you please take me to where the robin sweetly sings?



I wrote this song about my abuser when I was 20 years old.

"Out To Sea"

I found a thought of you in my pocket
So I blew it out to sea
It followed on the trail of a bluebird
Til it wrecked carelessly
In the trees by the brook

If I could buy your heart for a nickel
I would hide it away in my room
You'd wander around, a shell of a lover
With no place to lay
Your weary, broken body

For you to wear my soul for one day
To tread in my worn, ragged shoes
This was my wish once upon a memory
But that star is gone
Faded all away

I found a thought of you in my pocket
So I blew it out to sea

Comments

  1. Thank-you for sharing these lyrics. Song/poetry is so healing, I guess because it is being who you are, a claiming or reclaiming. It honors a hurting self instead of shaming and blaming self.
    Make time in your busy family-life to have that creative expression, when possible. (If you forget how, just watch the kids. They have the gift!)

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  2. Your music is very raw. There are some definite elements of Hendrix in your lyrics, as well as hints of Alannis, Tori Amos, and Shawn Colvin. Very moving.

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  3. Awesome meaningful lyrics. I loved popped into my head as I read your lyrics. Keep making songs like this. Thanks!

    http://www.aamusicstudiosblog.co.uk/

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