heavy

I was once harmed by someone very close to me. This person gained my trust and then broke that trust and damaged me in ways that would effect every aspect of my life for many years to come, probably forever. The story is long and so involved and complex that it would take an entire book to accurately depict it, and while I have many, many questions and thoughts that constantly swirl around in my head surrounding the experience, today's thoughts are -

How can people see past so much? How is such backwardness allowed? How can an army of people turn away a young girl who needs their love more than anything?

Women that are abused are too often encouraged to keep quiet about their experiences as if they should be ashamed in some way. I am unashamed. But my heart is heavy today because of the constant and all-too-real reminders of my experience..

I do love Moscow. But there are some things about this place that I truly hate. I would love for those things to vanish into thin air.

Comments

  1. (((hugs))) You aren't alone. When life doesn't fit into tidy boxes, some people just don't know how to handle it. Thank God for good husbands to love us, usually understand us and make our lives better then ever before.

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  2. First of all - your children are gorgeous! Raven is absolutely adorable :)

    Secondly - I think I know how you feel. I wrote a post about it a little over a month ago called "Riot Proof" where I basically confronted the family member who molested me as a child. I'd carried the secret for so long and I felt the exact way you do - heavy.

    It might not feel like it right now, but you ease your burden the more you surround yourself with those who love you and support your decisions, no matter what they are. Never accept anything less that 100% support and love from the people in your life - if there are those of you who are manipulating you, trying to make you feel guilty, or trying to control you - DUMP THEM.

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